A Big Week of Firsts

There comes a time in every recent returned missionary’s life where they have to face a lot of realities. One of which is that they literally have nothing in order as far as the world goes. There’s this rosy perception in your last few weeks as a missionary that somehow you’ll come home and all of your carnal affairs will be in order.

… Wrong.

So, because I’ve just now started to get my life somewhat in order, I’ve had a lot of first experiences with certain things.

1. Bought my first Mac.
Granted, that’s not a necessity. Other computers suffice, hopefully. I’ve purchased a computer in the past. But it had terrible issues and was so unreliable that I decided to play it safe and go with a MacBook Pro and I am so very pleased with my decision. #hatersgonnahate

2. Bought my first CAR.
So.. That’s a bigger one in all honesty. I was kind of just flyin’ solo down here in good ‘ole P. Town for a while. Honestly it was really difficult for me to feel a loss of a sense of freedom. You’d think anything would feel free after being bound under specific and intense rules and regulations while a missionary. But I found it to be quite frustrating to have the opportunity to have freedom but no means to do so. Anyway, say hello to my first car!

2005 Volkswagen Jetta. 5 Speed Manual Transmission. Never been in an accident. Super cute.

IMG_0968

3. Today, I went to Shoots with my Nana. (Actually just quick shoutout to Nana. She is the best. Today she took me to get my haircut from my favorite hair stylist, Bethany. She took me to lunch. Then she insisted we go get our nails done. And, even though that’s not super my thing, I was super thankful for her pampering me. Aaaaanyyyywwwaayyyyyy). We were ordering our food and “Hot Garlic Chicken” sounded really good to me. But what was that? A little icon indicating that it was, in fact, “spicy?” … Did I dare? What if I just hated my whole meal after that? What if it was painful to eat? What if I walked out with burning red lips and an upset stomach?

… But GARLIC CHICKEN. It sounded so good.

So, for the first time in my entire life, I intentionally ordered something spicy from a menu in a restaurant.

Big deal people. Really big deal.

A few other less significant firsts for your enjoyment: first time being caught up in my Twitter feed in two weeks, first time missing my Doctrine and Covenants homework because of an intense group project, first time seeing The Count of Monte Cristo musical (actually it was everyone’s first time because it was the world premiere at BYU!), first time hearing this great band called Bear’s Den (look up “Above the Clouds of Pompeii” … thank you Josh Rasmussen), first time seeing a handful of people I haven’t seen since I got back… And many more.

It’s pretty neat that I can just have a whole slew of first time experiences in one week, isn’t it? Man. There’s a heck of a lot to look forward to in this life. So here’s cheers to firsts!

A Big Week of Firsts

The Natural Order.

When I was little, I was positive that the desire to run home and cry because I was “being left out” would disappear once I was older. If I was a dishonest person, I could tell you that this is exactly what happened. But I’m not, so I can’t. Being left out happens. Some things that I (as well as many others, I’m sure) have felt left out of in the past year have been: relationships, marriage, missions, plans, hang outs, dinner groups, family, common ideas, friend groups, internships, getting good grades, and so much more. But it happens.

Being quite frank, I have felt out a lot this year. I was an adjustment to move from a ward where I knew EVERYONE to ward where I knew NO ONE, as it always is. But it was different this year when that status didn’t change in 48 hours like it had in the year previous. In fact, it didn’t even really change for months. I knew my roommates. I knew a few people in my relief society, and the 8 guys I had met and become friends with in the ward.

When I was growing up, and all the way through high school, there was a peculiar phenomenon that would happen. I realized I am really good at making friends initially. I can make friends quickly, genuinely, and have a lot of fun with them. That goes along all fine and dandy for a while and then there is a breaking point. Either I would introduce those friends with some of my other friends, the two groups would merge and leave me behind, or I would just get kind of forgotten as everyone became good friends without me.

That was hard, but since I turned around and made other friends fairly quickly, it was never too paralyzing. Just mostly a bummer.

That happened to me even some this year. Friends outside of my ward from other areas of life would hang out with me for a little while, we’d meet some new people, and I’d become the forgotten friend. To be totally honest, I have been so incredibly busy this semester and last semester that it hasn’t had a huge effect, but still just made me feel kind of.. off.

But, I FINALLY feel like I’m needed in my ward. I got a new calling that has given me the opportunity to get to know so many more people. I started making friends with a select few that are really involved. And I’m starting to feel known, welcome, and wanted.

My friends, that is one of the most priceless feelings. Feeling wanted. Feeling cared about. Feeling needed.

And whether it comes right away, or far later down the road, it is most definitely worth waiting for.

The Natural Order.