I’m blown away. It seems like time likes to slap me in the face a little bit. It plays cruel tricks. Like bringing some of my friends back only a week before I have to leave. Not ideal timing if you ask me. But I can’t express how grateful I am that it happened, no matter how short of time we’ve had together.
For the past week, Alex, Travis, Michael, Connor, and I have been hanging out nearly every day. It’s been great. But tonight was the greatest.
We spontaneously drove up to Salt Lake. We went to the Cheesecake Factory. We sprinted through an empty City Creek trying to catch the carriage ride. We walked all the way around Temple Square. We met some people who took our picture. We drove all around the winding roads near the University of Utah’s campus. We talked about lots of stuff. We drove up by the Draper Temple. We took the back way home. We stopped and stared at the view. We stuck our heads out of the sunroof, even though it was bitterly cold. We listened to good music. We found the prettiest view around here you could even imagine. We drove home safely. We hugged goodbye. We spent moments together that I really am never going to forget.
I can’t imagine a more perfect night with better people. I’m so glad that’s how I spent my last night before getting set apart. But I will say, it’s not making it much easier to leave now. Kind of a bittersweet moment.
Love you kids.
Mission stuff will be posted tomorrow.
Well, it’s currently my last Friday night of pre-mission life. I’m supposed to be studying. Instead, Rachel and I are sitting in my living room listening to Ed Sheeran, drinking Mt. Dew, listening to ridiculous things Brenner says, and eating cupcakes. Part of me thinks that I might regret not studying when I get a terrible grade on my marketing test. But another part of me thinks that I would regret it a whole lot more if I was to just study and not spend time with anyone before I leave because it’s going to be people not papers that matter when I’m out there.. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.
I’m so grateful for everyone who has been offering to help out or who has been helping. I am so sorry if I have been neglecting anyone’s willingness to help. It’s been so busy. But I have been overwhelmed with love and support by everyone and I apologize if I haven’t been able to show it back as much! I promise that you’re all in my thoughts and prayers and I am so thankful.
It’s getting close, kids. 8:00 pm on Tuesday I’ll be set apart as a missionary. Does it feel real? Do I feel ready? No. Not really. But it’s going to come regardless. So I’m diving in. Bring it on.
I’m going to take a minute and do a bit of a selfish post.
First, let me just say that this isn’t easy for me. I’m fairly independent and I don’t like to ask for things, let alone admit that I need help. But after a great weekend of General Conference, I have been humbled. And no matter how silly it seems, I’ve been humbled to realize that I simply just don’t have enough time in the next 16 days to get everything done that I need to get done on my own.
A lot of people keep saying things to me like “Let me know if there’s anything I can do for you!” or “If you need help preparing for your mission, I can help you!” and other kind and generous offers. It’s really sweet that so many are willing to help. But in the reality of it all, “help” is such a broad thing that when I’m up to my ears in things to do, it makes it seem like another task to complete to think of something for someone to do. I know that sounds kind of backwards and non-progressive, but that’s the best way I can explain it.
I decided to make a list of a few things that people can do that will actually help me prepare in the next two and a half weeks.
- HELP ME STUDY
Now, this may seem silly. Especially since you might think there’s no way you can help me study because I just need to do it on my own. But you know when you have SO much to do that you seriously just don’t do any of it? I’m kind of at that point. I really need to run for the roses and kick it into gear, but motivation for school work is at an all time low. I’m currently taking Church History from Susan Easton Black, Living Prophets, Marketing Management, and Advertising. The two I need the most help in are Church History and Marketing Management. It’s not that I don’t understand things–I legitimately need people to say “I can study this time, this time, and this time. Which one works for you?” and then let me figure out which one works. It’ll force me to do it and it will give me motivation to actually study. I know. I sound like a baby that needs coddling. But… At this point….
- GIVE ME INSIGHTS
There are a few things that I need some inspiration/knowledge/enlightenment on. My farewell topic is to “relate my thoughts to the Restoration.” I’m not sure what I want to do with it. So any thoughts or insights that you have relating to that would actually help me a lot. I’m going to complete my finals and have my farewell the next day so my time for focusing on the content of that is extremely limited. Also, if you plan on following my adventures in Pennsylvania, I’d love to hear how you think is best for that. Email list? Blog? Something else? What works best? Aaaaand if you have seen or know of any places to purchase the following items, I’d love to hear it: luggage, blouses, skirts, cardigans, scarves, sturdy shoes, winter boots, toiletry carrying case, and any other missionary items that you can think of.
- SING TO ME
Okay, not really. But I’m looking for good missionary music. If you have any appropriate CD’s or artists that you’d let me burn onto a CD or put onto a flash drive, that would be awesome. I want to have good music so badly! But I don’t know how much time I will have for that.
- THINK OF STUFF
Honestly, I’m practically a basket case at the moment. If you ask me if there’s something you can do that will probably just grind my gears a little bit because I probably don’t know. But, if you think of something that you could ASK me about instead, that would take off so much stress. For example, “Hey McKann, do you have your pedigree chart done yet? No? Great, I know how to do it. Can I help you? I’m available these times: ______.” <—— Ask me how much I want that exact example to happen…. A LOT.
- PLAY WITH ME
I’ll be honest. The thing I am stressed about the most is that I’m leaving behind a lot of people I love for two years. I am not worried about leaving my family (sorry guys). But my friends are a huge part of my life that aren’t set in stone. I’d like to think that I can just leave for eighteen months and I’m going to come back and everyone will still just be at their exact same spot in life and I won’t have missed anything and nobody will have changed… But that’s simply just not the case. I can’t say that I’m feeling like there’s a bajillion people I vitally need to spend time with before I leave, but there’s definitely a handful. I really do want to see you and spend time with you! But the same principle applies here that if you say “Oh my heck we HAVE to do [some specific activity] before you leave!!!!” and then when I ask you when you just say “Just soon because you’re leaving soon!” I’m probably going to not be super happy because you’re telling me pretty much the only thing I already know: I’M LEAVING SOON. Tight schedule, kids. But if I love you, we can pencil it in. 🙂
- GIMME YO DIGITS
And by digits, I mean address. I would love to stay in contact. But it’s going to be hard for me to remember to get everyone’s contact info before I leave (just being honest). So if you give me your address or email (because missionaries can email!!!) then I will be way more likely to write you and keep in touch. I really want to! Sincerely.
- CUT ME A BREAK
Okay. I realize that I’m not perfect. And I’m trying really hard to be sugar and spice and everything nice before I leave but I’m honestly super stressed. Sometimes I’m more stressed than I realize and I take it out in dumb arguments over nothing. Neither of us want that to be our last memory of each other for the next year and a half. Try to be patient with me. That would really help a ton. And if I’m wrong in an argument just drop it and we can readdress it in 18 months. Deal? Awesome.
- COME TO MY FAREWELL
Seriously, I just want to see people there. I want to say goodbye, as much as it sucks.
Also, just because those headings were in all caps doesn’t mean I was shouting them. I just like formatting stuff. So deal with it. 🙂 But really. I would love help, and I appreciate all the offers. Hopefully this doesn’t come off too self centered. If anything, it’s a reference for me so that when people ask I can just pull up this post and not have to put too much of my brain into it.
Love you all. You’re the best.
This is my song of the week.
If you don’t already know this song and you consider yourself an Imagine Dragons fan, you should know this one. It’s GRAND.
Also, I’m at the library and I started watching this video. I couldn’t get through more than 45 seconds of it without getting teary-eyed and emotional. Guys I’m just so proud of them! I can’t quite describe it. But if you felt the same way about this group of people as I do, you’d probably know. It’s really great. Way to be awesome, ID.
Last October’s General Conference was incredibly life changing for many reasons. The obvious one was the lowering of the mission age. But some of the talks were so moving, as usual. The talk given by Jeffrey R. Holland entitled “The First Great Commandment” has stuck with me so distinctly and has changed my life for the better. I get chills when I even just think about this talk, let alone read, listen to, or watch it. It is so powerful.
I really hope you’ll take a few minutes and watch this.
I think it could really change your life.
You can find it here:
The First Great Commandment