Nostalgia seems to be the only word that even comes close to describing the state of being I find myself in some nights. It’s neither bad nor good, and that’s what’s so strange about it. Nostalgia is supposed to mean something along the lines of “pleasant remembrances,” but that’s what’s so intriguing about it; you recall happy or joyful memories or experiences, or look to good things you desire, and in some ways that makes you feel a longing for those things. It’s almost a sense of wistfulness about you because of the truly remarkable things in this life, and the two emotions seem to clash in a way. In my mind, that’s what the word “nostalgia” is describing–that meeting point between two conflicting emotions.
Sometimes it’s more the happy remembrances, and sometimes it’s more the insatiable longings for them, but it’s always a combination.
Nostalgia is beautiful. It’s something I’ve learned to appreciate because it makes me feel very alive, in a sense. The fact that I have the capability to feel such a complex emotion really fascinates me and puts how incredible my human mind is and, as a result, how blessed I am in perspective. Human beings are peculiar creatures, and I’m so glad that I’m one of them.